Family vacation

Before Bastian's diagnosis Randy was supposed to leave on deployment. The week after his diagnosis he was supposed to leave for training with the Navy, and I had mentally prepared myself to be alone with two young boys. 2 under 3. I knew it was going to be hard. But I was ready. I had made friends with a few wives whose husbands were also going to be going through this deployment.

Deployment talk with Randy often consisted of deciding on whether or not I was going to move back to Hawaii with my family. We decided against it, since X had started a new school, and he was doing so well. I was going to stick it out. We discussed plans for a family vacation as a family of four. We decided to take the boys to Disneyland, all out when Randy returned from deployment. Meaning, we would spend the extra money at the Disneyland hotel and, reconnect as a family. That time never came, but we did go to Disneyland as a family of four. We were able to not worry about how much we spent, as we had so many generous people that donated to us and to Bastian. Had I known that it was going to be the last time we would travel as a family of four together, I would have taken more pictures, and I would have woken Bastian up for more awake time, so he could have met Mickey Mouse, and Moana. His two favorite Disney characters.

When we asked for a second opinion, on Bastian's relapse, it wasn't what we wanted to hear. I could hear it in this Dr's voice that he knew that Bastian's time was limited. As parents, that wanted the best possible outcome. We asked what else we could do. He told us that there were so many Holistic ways to treat different cancers, we would just have to research, with trial and error, to see which ones would work. That day after we planned our trip to Disneyland. We wanted to take the boys together on this family trip We had to. He also told us, that when (and if) Bastian passed, that we need to take a vacation as a family of three. We will need the time to heal, and disconnect from the world.

So here we are. In two days we will be on a plane, with our living son, to a place that hopefully brings him a ton of joy. Although our hearts will be sad, we know that Bastian will be there with us in spirit.