One year diagnosis

This time last year. We walked into the emergency room thinking that we were walking into the hospital for something minor. We planned to take our boys to the zoo after we were done at the emergency room. Little did we know, we would not be leaving the hospital with bastian that day. Little did we know we would be hearing something that would turn our lives apart. CANCER. It took 2 trips to the emergency room 3 days of X-rays and drs not being able to tell me what was wrong with my child. I brought Bastian to see three different drs so that I could find out why my normally happy baby was so sad. This is why we need awareness. A couple of days before we got a diagnosis, I googled his symptoms, it came up as a brain mass. I thought to myself. There is no way he could have cancer. He did. Cancer does not discriminate. I remember that day so vividly. How we had to wait over 6 hours in the emergency room because he had been nursing when we checked in and they couldn’t give him anesthesia for 6 hours after his last meal. How I had to leave with my older son at hour 4 because he just couldn’t sit still any longer. I remember not being able to be there with bastian. How it took more than 24

hours to get his diagnosis because none of the Drs wanted to tell us that our 13 month old had the “c” word. It was all so unbelievable. I remember my mom being on vacation and driving 7 hours at 8 pm and getting to us at 3 am. I remember how hard it was to put him to sleep because he wanted to nurse and he was hooked up to so many machines, so I had to put him back into the crib and sleep on a single pull out chair. I remember the families in the picu also. I had so many questions. I remember telling the dr that I didn’t want to read about anything because knowing me I would do too much research and drive myself crazy. Anytime something changed I wanted to hear it from the dr. I remember the kindness of the nurses and the technicians. I remember everything. I can recall what everyone was wearing that day. The smells of the sterile hospital room. Seeing my mom after hours of being in the hospital. I don’t want to forget any part of this journey with him. #loveforbastian